Trials and tribulations

This week has been incredibly stressful!   I suppose it comes with the territory as the quarter end is Monday and what can I say all eyes on my team to deliver new business sales results…   No matter how many times you go through this it never gets easier or less frustrating as everyone’s stress level is through the roof.

Throw into the mix a flat tire in the car, which I had to take in for repairs and the constantly cold weather - seriously I’ve been fit to be tied this week.  However, as I sit here and write this week’s blog somehow the stress seems to fall away…oh, probably the tumbler of scotch helps as well. ☺

Now, I know what you're thinking…Mr. Doom and Gloom.  Actually not so much, so to balance the ledger there has been a couple of really positive things happened as well.  

I had an opportunity to met with company that manages speakers, primarily for corporate and motivational conferences and although I still have some work to do in terms of crystallizing my messaging this is an area that I want to pursue.  I’m fortunate in that I had the chance to spend some time with one of the senior partners of the firm to get some key insights both into the speaking industry but also the competitive nature of this market.   Yes, I’d be up against a lot of Olympians right now…

That being said, I still feel very positive about my story and how I can be differentiating myself on the speaking circuit.  

When I reflect back on my personal journey, not only over the past three years but indeed my entire life then I think there is pause for some deep appreciation of where I started my life and the rather circuitous route to how I got to where I am today.

Now we can frame it in whatever the favorite catchphrase of the moment is but I’d like to think of my journey as one of resilience, self-belief and the ability to be in the moment or as they’d say today “mindfulness”.

The definition of mindfulness is - "Mindfulness is a state of active and open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience."

Seriously how else could a kid born into a very poor rural family, lets be clear here – 500 people in the middle of nowhere Australia during the late 1950’s to get to where he is today unless he has a fair dose of resilience and self belief.  Okay perhaps maybe a mega dose of each. ☺

The first, and only one of five to go to University, leaving home at 17 to escape rather than pursue my dreams...although that’s what I thought at the time it gave me a chance to get out and set the foundation for me to follow my dreams of traveling the world.   Strangely the only thing I was thinking about at the time was how to escape.

Now fast forward to today and where I am – some might say a bit of a miracle others might say I was lucky.  Realistically probably a bit of both, although there’s nothing like being in the right place at the right time and going with your gut (no wonder I love doing Improv!) 

So who knows but I would like to continue to pursue my writing and public speaking as a full time career so keep an ear out for opportunities where I could come and speak.  My first gig is at Sami’s school in a couple of weeks where I get an opportunity to go in and speak to her grade about the journey to becoming a blogger and author.

Honestly I’m excited at the prospect as I know most of the girls in her grade because many of them have been over at one time or another or I’ve met them at the various sporting or social events over the last couple of years.   

Poor Sami, she gets driven crazy by her classmates “Sami your dad has the cutest accent….” Hhhmmm – what accent exactly?  ☺

Anyway, it'll be a great way to practice my story for the next phase of my career.

Photos I took in California last weekend - enjoy!

Riotous colors and reflections in the late afternoon light

Sunset in Cali

Reflections 

The iron fence

Spring time in Cali

Picture perfect flowers in the early morning light

Dawn surf...

As it says, Santa Monica is the end of the trail for the famous Route 66

Seagulls at sunset 

Santa Monica pier amusement park

Waves on the pier

Sunset 

Beautiful brass vase

High rise car-park in Santa Monica

Lights in the window

My musical education

Over the last year or so Zach has taken a real interest in music, notably by his purchase of a turntable this past December and his thorough enjoyment of finding records and combing record stores in search of classic vinyl.   Yes, vinyl is once again at the forefront of our culture with this retro revival well and truly underway with Zach generation.  A great example is the day we brought his turntable, the place was packed with teenagers and I mean packed!

Clearly I'm the big beneficiary of his newfound love of music as he brings home his latest musical purchase and quickly slips down to the basement to put on another of new record acquisitions. Instantly I'm thrown back to my youth with another classic booming from the basement, a-la Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin.  Wow, it’s amazing how music can take you back to your own childhood memories.

Zach's new record player

Typical of Zach in that like me has a very eclectic love of music, so one moment we'll be listening to a Bob Marley album and the next it'll be Kanye West banging out a more contemporary and edgy tune…

As I've documented in past blogs whenever we travel he’s often well ahead of the game and has already researched and found at least one second hand record store in our travels and will want to spend an hour or two going over row after row of records in search of “the one” that he needs for his collection.  I'd say that’s a good use of his allowance don’t you? Even on our trip last week to South Beach in Miami, he’d already sourced out Uncle Sam’s records on Washington Avenue and directed me to it as he then spent an hour picking through the store and eventually purchasing a couple of cool instrumental albums. Don't worry Sami and I shopped at an outdoor shopping mall down the road so we had plenty to do. ☺

Not only does he have a love of listening to music but I’ve strongly encouraging him to create and produce his own music.  

The line up from the first Coachella Festival
1999

In fact, he’s recently acquired some free music software and produced a handful of songs, which he’s placed out on SoundCloud, much like a blogger would with the written word.  His moniker in the SoundCloud world is DJ Endgame, which is pretty cool I must admit. I couldn't have even imagined having an a.k.a at 15 let alone putting myself out there into the music world at that age.  I often ask myself where on earth does he get this amazing confidence?

To support his love of music we'd also been talking about going to a music festival or concert together sometime over the summer.  Clearly I feel pretty fortunate that we have such a great relationship with him that he wants to go to a concert with his dad at 15, but there you have it.

We'd initially talked about going to Sasquatch in Washington state near Seattle, but the timing just didn't work for either of us, but after more discussion it became clear that who he most wanted to see was OutKast who were reforming for a festival tour this summer after breaking up in 2008.  As he put it to me “something to tell my kids”, just as I had told him about my experience with seeing Bob Marley live in Australia during his one and only concert tour in…well, a long time ago anyway. ☺

After doing a quick search for summer music festivals in North America (yeah, there were a bunch!) I narrowed it down to one that worked for both our schedules and timeline (before summer camp starts for him).  The Coachella Music Festival is held at the Empire Polo Field at Indio, California (between Los Angeles and Palm Springs) in mid April.  This festival has been around since 1999 and over the years has grown into one of the premier music festivals with some huge names performing over the years…Coldplay, Bjork, Oasis, The Black Keys, Jay-Z, Dr Dre and Snoop Dog, Beck, The Chemical Bros…well the list goes on and on.  In fact now it’s grown to be so big that it’s actually staged over two full weekends with the second weekend actually being a perfect fit.

So as a surprise earlier this week I got us a pair of VIP tickets for the concert. I told him last night by phone as he’s still in Florida for March break with his mum, Sami and grandparents. Excited was probably a bit of an understatement, when I gave him the news. ☺

As a good friend of mine quipped on Facebook after I had announced our impending adventure to Coachella –“who's taking who to the concert?”.  

Some of the musicians performing this year....pretty amazing line up don't you think?

I hadn't really thought about it, but Al was totally right in that I'm going to be completely out of my musical depth at Coachella and only know a couple of the performers of the forty or so they have scheduled over the three days…a veritable “blank slate” if you will.   Still the upside for me is that “I don't know what I don't know” and so will be open to a bunch of new sounds and artists that I hadn't been aware of before that weekend.  Somehow I think Zach is going to expose me to a large amount of Rap and Hip Hop...just sayin'.

With Indio being located near Palm Springs in the desert I'd better bring a good amount of sunscreen, my sunnies (Australian for Sunglasses) and an open mind as I get the feeling that I'm going to be in for one big musical education the middle weekend of April. 

Bring it dude!   ☺

Inspired!

The frenetic pace of life has got me out of rhythm with everything around me until I was stopped cold in my tracks by the two most important people in the world to me.  

Zach and Sami in South Beach

Most years we begin discussing March break while we're still on our Christmas vacation, having to book our flights and hotels well in advance because of the time of year and the expected demand ensures that its always an early discussion.  

I clearly remember our conversation on the train from Seattle to San Diego as it rattled through the Northern Californian drought-scape in late December.

My opening stanza, was something like “where do you want to go for March break?”  Followed quickly by “…and what cool adventure would you like to have?”  Normally there would be some back and forth about a place we hadn't been to, but not this year.  They both looked at each other; with a level of unexpected collusion as there eyes darted to each other before settling back on me.

It’s a well-documented fact that they aren't best friends by any measure, but clearly they had been discussing this in advance of my question.  Zach was first to speak as he said, “are you okay with just going to a beach?”  Sami quickly followed by “how about Florida?”   My rather shortsighted response was “…but you're already going to a beach in Florida the second week with mum”.  Again they looked at each other and then back at me expectantly.   They realized that I wasn't going to give up without a fight on destination as I began rattling off interesting destinations with enormous adventure potential…

It was Sami who broke the silence – “dad, we just want to relax.  Do we have to have an adventure?”

I was stunned!   I was being challenged on the most fundamental of things, things that are clearly close to my heart.  I turned her question over in my mind before answering and was shocked to realize that I had been working on the assumption that they, like me always wanted an adventure of some sort, not only occasionally but non-stop.

It was now plainly clear to me that they really didn't want to schlep across the continent the first week of their break and do something different every day before flying back and heading to Florida the second week where they could unwind from their school term.  It felt like my week was still a bit too much like school with activities piled on activities day after day.

Hemingway Museum - Key West Florida

One thing that I realized at that moment was that although I had been asking them and consulting them before booking, my idea of a vacation and theirs is quite different.  How could I have been so blind?

I was disappointed in myself for not seeing this earlier, but glad that they had gotten together to talk about it before the inevitable conversation ensued.

I then set about planning a trip to Florida, spending our week at a hotel overlooking the ocean at Pompano Beach (just north of Miami), before driving across South Florida (the Everglades) and heading up the west coast to Longboat Key where I'd drop them off with Jodie and her parents for their second weeks vacation.

The other thing was that I had to curtail my inclination to pack as much as I could into every day…  Easier said than done I’m afraid but I'm a work in progress what can I say?

We discussed a couple of day trips; the first was to Key West which is a four plus hour drive, with traffic on the way down it was closer to five, but I'd always wanted to go and visit, especially the Hemingway Museum.  Both Zach and Sami were good sports about it and we set off early Monday morning for our “day trip”.  Arriving around lunchtime we set about visiting the museum, which was fantastic by the way – just as I had expected, before finding a lunch place to eat and people watch.  In the afternoon we strolled the tree lined streets visiting both the Lighthouse (amazing views with lots of old world charm) and the Little White House where Harry S. Truman spent his summers when he was President of the United States.   Departing late in the afternoon and arriving back around nine PM; it was a full day of driving but well worth the trip (well in my books anyway). ☺ 

Having mentally blocked off only two days of activities from the eight we had in Florida, we ventured into Miami on Monday so we could go visit South Beach.  C'mon you can't come all this way and not visit South Beach with its cool Art Deco buildings and funky vibe.   

Zach had researched a record store (yes he’s a vinyl collector), while Sami had already planned a host of cool stores she wanted to visit and a rather long list of things she wanted to buy.  So while they shopped, I snapped away with my trusty Canon camera and got some great photos (see a small selection below).

Now it wasn't the full on adventure trip that I usually would have planned, but in many ways it was also a great time for me to relax and connect with them each personally.  

Zach and I walked the beach earlier in the week one afternoon just chatting about life, substituting this for our weekly coffee time.  While Sami and I spent some quality time working out together in the hotels gym as well as her shopping adventure yesterday afternoon.

It was evident at dinner last night when I asked them what the best part of the day had been (a family ritual) and they each in turn said how much they had enjoyed South Beach but added that relaxing pace of the week had been fantastic, and how much they appreciated it and my compromise.  I smiled a deep and genuine smile.

Not surprisingly I've seemed to acclimatize pretty quickly to days at the beach just relaxing in the sun without feeling pressured to chase the next adventure…☺

Perhaps I'm slowing down or just perhaps I'm seeing the wisdom of my worldly and intelligent teenage kids – hhhmmm?



P.S.  A small selection of photos from our week in Florida - enjoy!

Zach at the hotel in Pompano Beach

Sami with Hemingway - Key West, Florida

Refracted light from the Lighthouse at Key West, Florida

The builder of the Lighthouse at Key West - 1840's Parisian Company

The old circular staircase inside the Lighthouse - Key West, Florida

Light on the rocks and ocean at Pompano Beach, Florida

Shells and leaves caught inside the pier at Pompano Beach, Florida

An old Pier footing on the beach 

Pre-dawn lighthouse - Pompano Beach, Florida

Palm tree reflections in the pool - pre-dawn at Pompano Beach, Florida

Morning dew on the deck chair at the hotel - Pompano Beach, Florida

Interesting building footing - South Beach, Florida

Bicycles parked - South Beach, Florida

"Your drinks sir" - South Beach, Florida

No shortage of high end shopping - South Beach, Florida

The famous Loews Miami Beach Hotel

Art Deco colors and designs - South Beach, Florida

Even the walls are pieces of art - South Beach, Florida

When I grow up...

So what do you want to do when you grow up?   A typical refrain from our childhood, am I right?   Well, surprisingly here I am at 54 and starting to wonder what’s next for me. If you've been following along with my blogs then you'll know that I've had a rather varied career and taken a path generally not followed by many, but one which has clearly been both fulfilling and enjoyable for the most part, mostly because of the people that I've had the opportunity to work with over the years.

After I published my book I connected with the principals of both Zach and Sami’s schools to let them know my interest in donating a copy of my book to their libraries.  In both situations they were thrilled that I had accomplished a personal goal and that I wanted to donate a copy of my book, but it also piqued their curiosity as to my path to becoming an author and my weekly blog writer.  Subsequently each invited me to come in and speak to their student body about my journey to becoming an author.  

Time to reflect...

Clearly this wasn't my original intent, but I'm thrilled with the opportunity to practice telling the story of the incredible journey that I’m on. I've also realized that along with my writing I'm also a bit of a ham, hence my branching out into Improv and now some motivational speaking might be just the trick! ☺   

Although I often ask myself “how did I get here?”  Until I made the decision to begin documenting the stories of my life for Zach and Sami, I hadn’t shown a lot of interest in writing, even though I love reading and devour books a couple at a time.  Perhaps it was something about telling my stories, it gave me opportunities to reminisce and to look deeply at the situations and stories from my life and understand how they affected me and shaped the person I am today.  What if I'd chosen a different path?  Perhaps one of self-pity and loss after my dad’s death rather than the positive approach and the lesson learned during his last six months with me.  

I had a rather serendipitous moment this week, quite unexpectedly I received an email from a business colleague whom I hadn't spoken to or seen in 18 years.  She related via email that was recently in Peru hiking the Inca trail to Machu Picchu and one night was online researching an American tour company that had the word “adventures” in its name and came upon my blog and subsequently me.  How interesting is that?

She quickly confirmed that it was indeed the Terence Wallis she had worked with so long ago and began reading my blogs…in fact every one of them over the course of the following month.  

When I read her email I realized how impactful my blog had been, especially as she shared her very personal journey with me. It was a story of deep and heartbreaking loss, of life changing diagnosis, and eventually of regeneration and new found love.  I was blown away by her candor and emotional strength, but what struck me most was the fragility of life.

Pompano Beach - Florida

You quickly realize how short life is and how important it is to live every day and cherish every second.  I know we all say this, but really do we change anything about our lives to reinforce this important message…

Unfortunately the practicalities of life often get in the way of living our dreams fully. If you're like me, then you're somewhat torn between “paying the bills”, living for today and planning my total escape once the kids are in University (sorry guys).  

My friends email this week definitely made me take a step back and reevaluate where I am in my life - thank you for sharing this with me.  Right now I'm in Pompano Beach, Florida on March break with Zach and Sami (a perfect tonic in itself) so I'll have some time on my hands this coming week as I stroll the wide beach or sit by the pool in the beautiful sunshine soaking up the rays.   

Perhaps this IS my next gig – sitting in the sun and thinking?  ☺