Disheveled Musings

Friday, 13 June 2014

Conflict of Change

The concept of change is such an overused word isn't it? I mean the very word creates a sense of stress and uneasiness in most people and that’s usually because it used primarily in a negative context. Getting comfortable with the thought of change is, I dare say harder than actually the change itself. Generally speaking I think I'm pretty comfortable with the concept of change, but like you it’s often the context, timing and past experiences that dictate the requisite levels of stress.

A big change for me was my mindset as I approached planning for my summer vacation. With summer nearing I felt drawn back to Italy, even though I had written about going to Vietnam. For some reason I felt as though I was stalling booking my trip and slowly but surely being seduced back into my old comfort zone of Italy. I agree, what’s not to like right?

One of the two Entry Visa letters I need to carry
in transit along with two passport sized photos

However, not to be complacent or seduced by the fancies of Italy I spent Wednesday night researching the various options of getting to and from Vietnam, and eventually booked my flights late that night. Yes, all nine of them on four different airlines to get to and from Hue and the beautiful South China Sea coastline. Some interesting questions came up during my research (yes, I sometime speak to myself): “Do I use points or is it cheaper to pay for this leg?”, “Is it cheaper to fly via a different city vs. the obvious location?”... So many choices and different combinations, all with no wrong answers, however this activity is not for the faint of heart and I can see why the traditional travel agent model still works – so many choices around carriers, flight times, connections etc.

I even booked my visa online to which I've already been approved and have my entry letter from the Vietnamese government, now I just need two passport sized photos and my $45 USD fee on arrival. Smartly, I’ve also been contacted by the company that I applied for my visa through asking me if I’d like to move to the front of the customs line on arrival for an extra $20. Hell, at this point why not!

After booking and looking at the various travel sites and things to do in Vietnam, an inkling of doubt began to enter my mind, as expected, fear of change and doubt were back knocking at my door! I tried to erase the very thought of fear or compromise, although the little voice in my head had lots of great reasons to doubt.

For example, how are you going to communicate the voice asked enquiringly? At least when I go to Italy I have a smattering of Italian words which enables me to communicate on an, albeit rudimentary level…okay, my pidgin Italian isn't my strong suit, although depending on who you ask neither is my English. J

Summertime in Vietnam...yep, its going to be
hot and humid! Yay

Hhmmm I knew I had to short circuit that damn voice, but to be completely honest I found myself quite stressed with the change. Even though I had deliberately stated that was going to be my destination of choice this year. My approach is that if I say it out-loud to others then I’m much more likely to follow through as its now in the public domain and expectations have been set. A useful method to my madness I suppose and a great way for me to help the overall change process and quieten the voice of doubt in my head now that I'd backed myself into a corner.

Now that I have my destination and route mapped, hotels booked - what now? Well, that’s the easy part! Although I'm sure many of you might be stressed when thinking in terms of what to pack for a journey like this.

For me packing is dead easy – working only with carry on for starters! A colleague at work asked me what I was going to take…let me see, a couple of pairs of shorts (yes, its in the depths of summer and being relatively close to the equator is hot and sticky at the best of times, but in the depths of summer its going to be super hot). As well, two or three t-shirts, plus the same number of tank tops, as well as a good pair of hiking shoes, some thongs (flip flops to the uneducated Australian lingo), toiletries and my camera, lens and extra battery…plus my Apple Air so I can blog during my adventure.

I guess some things don't change as I like to travel as light as possible and always have. Yep, that pretty much sums it up – enough to fit in a small carry on backpack. My mate Roscoe always said put out on your bed what you think you’ll need for the trip then only take half – words to live by I can tell you.

Now I can hear you all now taking a deep breath…don't worry I'll bring some washing detergent to clean my clothes while I'm there, plus its only a couple of weeks so no worries!

I've also got a couple of nights in Hong Kong at the end of the trip and if necessary will buy a bag to bring back any trinkets that I acquire during my shopping extravaganza, so not totally frugal and minimalistic – just pragmatic!

Now that I've booked my trip I definitely feel more at peace with my summer, although I must admit I'm already pining for Italy, over the years its just gotten so under my skin its hard to describe, but love it like a third home after Australia and Canada.

Even for the most change friendly people change is hard… J

All I can say is Vietnam here I come!

Some photos from my upcoming adventure:

Not exactly roughing it when I stay near Hue, Vietnam. I rented a one bedroom bungalow
over the water on a lagoon adjacent to the South China Sea...

Dragon bridge in Da Nang. I decided to fly from Hanoi to Da Nang for $100 for the one hour flight vs. $745
for the 50 minute flight from Hanoi to Hue... Easy math really especially given that Da Nang is only an
hour away by car from where I'm staying vs. 45 min from Hue.

Bien Lang Co which I'm expecting to pass through on my way to Vedana from Da Nang
so gorgeous!

Friday, 6 June 2014

Always on

I've been on the go for the past two weeks - solid!

First in Phoenix, or should I be more precise and say Scottsdale as I know the locals don't like them being confused. It’s lost on me as to why they don't like it, especially considering they are adjacent to each other and equally beautiful or not as the case may be, but lets just go with the flow shall we.

My week in Scottsdale was spent immersed in managing and emceeing (I may have just made that word up…) for my companies Annual User conference. The reality is that I love being on stage (ergo my year long Improv classes at Second City), and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. However, that being said the combination of time zone changes (2 hours) and being “on” all week was a complete drain on my energy and sleep levels.

Arriving back into Toronto last Friday night (yes, I missed my blog publishing deadline by a day) and then turning around to drive to Buffalo (3 hours with traffic) added to the sleepless state in which I found myself at the end of the conference. As often happens I ended up with an enormous cold sore on my top lip (crap!)… I can always sense it coming on, and its always the same; whenever I get overly tired and exhaust my energy stores over a prolonged period my immune system throws a tantrum…hello cold sore!

Just another day and another early wake up call...

The weekend ended rather abruptly and Monday evening saw me on a plane to Calgary for business (four hour flight), following quickly by an early morning team meeting before the three-hour prospect meeting for a big chunk of Tuesday. Wednesday morning started with a 4:30 am wake up call followed by a quick shower and taxi to the airport to make my 6:15 am flight to Toronto.

Arriving at lunchtime I went directly downtown to an afternoon meeting, which lasted till 4:30 pm, just enough time to make it up town to my counseling session at 5:00 pm. Not having been home for ten days meant not having any groceries in the house, so after counseling I had to drop by my local Longos supermarket to pick up some essential supplies including dinner, which I ravenously devoured as soon as I got in the door (not a pretty sight!).

Hang in there, not done yet!

Thursday saw me up and out the door by 7:15 am for an all day meeting downtown, yes, my Wednesday afternoon session had only been a dry run for the main event on Thursday. The meeting albeit successful, was then followed by a series of conference calls until 5:30 pm.

During the afternoon I'd also received a message from Sami’s soccer team manager asking if I could run training tonight as the head coach was stuck at work and knowing my background thought it was worth a try.

Why not! As my mum used to say “in for a penny, in for a pound”, so I drove over to her practice field just making it in time for the 6:00 pm training session. Fortunately for me, I had a quickly researched and downloaded a Soccer Skills manual to my tablet, fished out my whistle and I was ready to go.

Mooredale Lightning U13 Soccer team

The girls on her team are a great bunch and so when I told them that George (coach) wasn't able to make it and that I was training them, they didn't bat an eye and were terrific as usual. They trained hard and listened well, and therefore not a chore, but a very enjoyable time indeed.

After training, Sami and I picked up Zach from my ex’s house and grabbed some dinner on the way home, arriving just after 8:00 pm, and now faced with a load of washing (school clothes, including gym and soccer gear) that had to be ready for first thing this morning, I dug in zipped through my tasks reasonably quickly.

Fortunately Zach and Sami are really self sufficient and independent, finishing homework, showering and getting ready for bed was a breeze.

Me, well after making a cursory check of my work email, penned a couple of quick ones in preparation for my Friday, finished the wash and finally got to bed around 11:30 pm.

When I met with my counselor (Lisa) on Wednesday afternoon, one of her first questions was “how are you doing?” Hhhmmm, I had to pause and take stock - my initial response was “I’m feeling completely exhausted!”, but now that I write it all down I can see why. J

Surprisingly, I've actually been able to get a couple of restful nights sleep since returning from Scottsdale where I slept so very poorly for the entire week and generally only got between two or three hours of sleep per night that its been a bit of a treat. I guess it was the stress of being accountable for the success of the event (300 customers) as well as the role of emcee that pushed me to the limit and ensured that I was truly switched on all week long.

Now, I could put it down to a crazy couple of weeks, but in actuality - welcome to my life!

Sometimes I wonder how we survive and cope mentally under these types of grinding schedules. Clearly its been a contributing factor as to why I've been struggling recently with my emotional well being. Thank you Sherlock Holmes!

So when Lisa asked my what my plans were this weekend (she knew I didn't have Zach and Sami), I debated whether I should get on a plane for a trip somewhere or stay put with no plans… How can I feel a guilty for not seeking out a distant adventure this weekend? You tell me, but nonetheless I do…just a little. Yes, I know you're reading this Lisa and smiling to yourself.

Tough decision, but in retrospect sitting here on my front porch having a glass of Brunello and writing my blog comes as close to serenity as I can get right now. Perhaps I'll nip down to my basement after dinner and meditate with my “singing bowl” in the dark (gotta love it!)

Here’s to a tough couple of weeks - cheers!

p.s. As an FYI the bugs also seem to like my Brunello J

This weeks photos are a selection of ones I've taken over the past week or two - enjoy!